Paths to evolve
by RedCarmin
Summary: End of X2,with Jean death,it's Rogue the most affected.Find out what happened between Jean and Marie before Alaki Lake.And what comes next?Jean will be back?Rogue powers develop,fighting for peace and falling in love? FEMSLASH. NOT ABANDONED!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own those characters, or anything to do with the X-MEN. Well, except the movies DVDs.I don't gain anything from this. They belong to MARVEL, and to Warner Brothers (I think).

**A/N:** This is my first story, and probably the last. So be nice, please. I don't usually write, and my English is very poor...So you are warn, but I promise it's readable!!The idea is really good, but then again, it's my idea.

**This story is a femslash, you know 2 women romance, don't like don't read.** This is just for fun, if not for someone else, at least fun for my own sake.

Starts with the end of X2, but will be back and forward. I decide write this cause there is some few jean/rogue story and I love those. Hate it X3 because of jean been really bad, and rogue been totally exclude.

Just quote means "normal speech"; quotes + italic means _"privates thoughts"_ ; and quote + underline means "mental dialogue;shared thoughts"

CHAPTER 1

"NO!! NOOOO!! "

"JEAN!!"

"Jean... "Scream, and then barely whispers shaking all the other occupants of the jet.

"She is gone "says Logan, trying hopelessly not falling apart, but failing .His eyes shows a broken man

"NO!NOO!! Don't say that"continue, until then, strong and controlled leader of the x-men. Now shattered, lost on his pain and denial.

Nobody demonstrates more their grief so violently, than Scott, nobody can't. Just slippery faces with mute tears, reflecting everybody else pain and anguish. Struggling to keep fighting, to find strength, they must go on.

Jean Grey is dead. She is a hero, gave her own life for the life of others, for her family, for Marie.

Yes, Marie-the Rogue, see, nobody care about her and the impact of such lost. At least no more than everybody else, after all, she doesn't know Jean as her team mates, her friends x-men. What 2 years of coexistence means, if close compared to a life shared, growing up, learning, fighting, building the same dreams, as happen with the more olders,the first students of Xavier; that together formed a family?! Or what a girl could possible understands, or knows the same pain that Wolverine feels, love someone like he love Jean with such intensity and ferocity like he did?!

No, nothing compares, Rogue is suffering, but nothing like the closest to Jean felt...

For Rogue... - _"Jean... I can't breathe...what is happening… OH GOD! What did you do?!... It is as if... There's this hole, a dark hole eating me... because you gone...I can't feel you… why?!..., I should have seeing coming... "-_ For Rogue Jean's death should be how it is for the others teens, right?? -"_should have stopped, or follow you...It doesn't matter, not anymore. I can't feel you... I just lost everything..."-_ It should be like how to lose a master of great value, a guardian, a friend always ready to listen. Marie must have feeling like the others students. Losing someone important, of great influence, guiding and teaching control and understanding of their powers and how being better individuals, citizen in a world divided among mutants and not-mutants. It should feel like missing someone loved, someone great, but not essential, right?!...

Yes, students in the jet are sad, desolate, but they will live, move on, and for been just one of them ,nobody notices Marie, nor thinks it's necessary see that one of them doesn't breathe for some instants, and then physically hurts to breathe..._-"...GOD..I don't bel...I don't believe...I shouldn't let her go...all those weeks before, shouldn't let her run... I shouldn't have run from her, from the possibility...now it's too late, she left me, and kill me too..." _

No one notice ,there is someone else besides Scott and Logan that cry with the mutual understanding of lose the love of your life, no one else feels, not even the professor(with his own pain and grieve).There is this energy, through Marie, such excruciating pain, numb her whole body, crashing all her soul. Nothing more fits, not cry, not sobs, or scream, or hate, nor tears, nothing at all – _"it doesn't matters...nothing more...wish I could absorb someone else entire mind and soul... be somebody else...never mind...not anymore...No one would understand, or would known her real value to me... my pain... my Jean... "_

Nobody thought or saw Marie, really saw, because nobody knew. If they had known, they would had notice that in that lake someone else died and it was left there too

Marie is gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own those characters, or anything to do with the X-MEN. Well, except the movies DVDs. I don't gain anything from this. They belong to MARVEL, and to FOX.

**This story is a femslash, you know 2 women romance, don't like don't read.**

Just quote means "normal speech"; quotes + italic means _"privates thoughts"_ ; and quote + underline means "mental dialogue; shared thoughts"

**A/N:**This chapter was revisited. Add some details, but the story is the same

CHAPTER 2

Before move forward, let's go back for a while.

Jean Grey always was overachieving, trying her best all the time, striving at her most, of everything.

Able to read others minds, therefore know their feelings, it was really hard, know your parents, your family and friends were disappointed and afraid for her and of her. Only for been a mutant.

So Jean tried her best to compensate, hoping been accept and loved as before her powers start to show.

With Xavier was different, without expectations nor conditions. However she set a standard, a high standard. Soon she became a role-model for the youngster, a reliable source. If Scott Summers was the right arm of Charles Xavier, Jean Grey was his left.

So , naturally, Scott and Jean ended together. Summers being the male version of Jean, fit perfect, with the same values and high standards. Together they were the poster couple of the X-men.

It wasn't just for been comfortable, or an easy relationship. Also, it was the solution for Jean problem since her teen years; some very disturbing feelings, her attraction to others women.

As much as Jean knew the acceptance, tolerance, and unconditional love of Xavier, wasn't the same with her friends and rest of others students. She didn't want to be different or judge. Not on her element, on her home, real home. It was already extremely hard be a mutant, fighting for equality and respect, didn't want to deal with be a lesbian too...-_"Just a teenage faze...I'm with Scott now..."-_.Denial was and still is a powerful force.

Some years pass, graduated in medicine, genetics .Became teacher and doctor of the institute for the gifts, member of the x-men and researcher in mutation and evolution of the species .She became everything she wanted to be and more. All those disturbing feelings were forgotten; she even ended believing to love Scott.

Well, this was, until, she meet someone. Until meet Marie.

Returned from Laughlin city, Cyclops and Storm brought in two mutants, save from Sabertooth attack. After take the first care of the male companion, still unconscious .Jean went to exam the girl.

On arrive of the pair, she only catch a glimpse of the younger, but enough to stir, warm inside. This was dismissed to sympathy, compassion_..."What a beautiful woman, GIRL! She is a girl!! Grey,don't go there..." _Thought briefly before bury those thought on the back, deep end of her mind...But not for long.

Opening the door to the next exam room, the girl fidgeting with glove hand, raise her head at the same time Jean look, locking their eyes.

Eternity exist in the instant of their breath, on a blink it seems occur a recognition, and souls recognize been mates, before their minds. Just like that, what it takes for a thought been made, Marie and Jean souls found each other.

With so many fears, complexes, believes, misjudge values, more years of suppressed feelings leaded their minds, their entire being response was ignore, nor even acknowledge the bond. Fully ignoring, and shoving into a black hole on their minds, proceeded.

..."Hi!"clearing her ,all of sudden, dry throat..-"Hi, I'm Dr.Jean Grey! I going to make same exams, to see if everything is alright...That's ok with you?"-finish with a reassuring smile, still shaken with that moment ago.

Maria also affect, was unsure of what to say...-"(cough) I'm Ro...Marie, but I prefer be call Rogue_"..."Wow, she is gorgeous!!Hum, don't start with this nonsense...Gosh! I sound like my__foster parents" S_topping with that kind of thought ,she continued

"I'm fine, didn't get hurt...But I don't mind if you want to check up "returning the smile, a tiny one, but Jean found beautiful..._-"Uau! she really is beatiful,wonder what will be like with a real smile,heartbrea...Stop, Just stop...she is younger, much more than you, and a woman...ARGH...girl, she is a girl"_ Noticing the girl speaking "I'm sorry, what did say?"

"I...hum...this is a real school? To mutants?" Not waiting an answer, add "Can you cure me?"Letting out a disappointed sigh, Jean wasn't surprise. Usually new mutants view their mutation as something wrong, needing a fix.

"Well,M...Rogue" remembering the girl preference. "It's right, this is also a school...The Institute Charles Xavier for the Gifted Children." smiling continued. "A disguise to protect us, even if indeed we're gifted"- seeing a disagreement coming with her last statement, Jean approach the girl, offering a comfort hand on her shoulder, which stop midair, by notice Marie tense up with the closeness.

Dismissing the hurt for been denied such a chance, kept going" See, often mutants who recently discovery their special gift" purposely using the same word ..."like you, are afraid and unable to understand, even less control it "showing another of those reassuring smile that rogue was starting to love -_"it's cute, that's all"-_

"It can't be cure, because it's not a disease .We can help you, you just have to let us" finish with a wink to Marie, who return with a shy smile and a look of trust.

"_There is nothing wrong with you"_ Seen the surprise look, Jean continue with the telepathic talk _"What?! Thought you were alone, here everybody have special ability. Besides telepath.i'm also telekinetic"_ .In the same time, reach telekinetic a syringe, to start the exams with a sample of blood. _"So cool!!" _She was able of catch, from Marie thoughts, all the while without stop the examination."_Now, I can control my TK, filter and block others thoughts. Which was a relieve, because on beginning, almost got crazy"._

Although she would deny, even if everything Jean said wasn't conclusive and explanatory, she would have stay anyway._ "Only a crazy to not want to know and be near this woman...Oh man!!This is so wrong..."_

They kept talking, until all the exams were done, and Rogue went to see Professor Xavier. It was a nice talk. She felt welcome, and very hopeful at what he said plus what Jean already had. He reassured her safety, also that all students and teachers always be aware of her mutation, and consequences.

So the days passed, Wolverine up, always suspicius.Showed interest on Jean, and very protective of Marie. The former seems to bother her very much, _"Well, it does. Logan shouldn't be sharpening his claw, or exploring the underground rooms, very dangerous rooms !"_ and everybody thought were for Logan_."Yeah, right!!The man is like my father…FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PUT SOME SHIRT ON!...As if Jean would fall for that". _However, she couldn't be angry with him. Jean was nothing to her _"hopefully we could be friends " _thought . And he was her only friend in that time, to have someone who cares and protective as he was toward the girl-"_As I would know what it's like be care and protected...huhm...my foster parents didn't, and it's been so long,i don't even remember my real mom..."_

Rogue was adjusting, even started with classes, not just normal school stuff, but defenses lessons,ethics,politcs.Logan kept advancing on Jean, the hostility between him and Scott kept growing. Marie wasn't happy either, she was jealous of both.

And Jean, well she was in trouble. _·"Scott jealous. Marie-a girl-disturbing feelings that I have to suppress problems-Logan...(urrgh)" _She gave space to Logan to come into ,but not all the way, after all, he was just a divert of her feelings to a certain girl, with long sleeves and gloves. Of course it was temporary, just some 28 yrs mid crisis. So complicated.

But the time to complicated had to wait. Wolverine nightmares were horrible. Unable to sleep ,thinking in perhaps see if a certain red head doctor was awake, Rogue heard Logan groaning , and goes in his room.

What a mess! To try get near him, to wake him up , she was literally at arms length of a disaster. And what disaster, Logan waking up with his claws coming out, a reflex from the scenes he was reliving, stabbed Marie.

Maybe it was one minute, or one second. It's impossible measure the time with numbers. To three persons it was a lifetime .

Logan throwing the jab,

Marie feeling three blades slicing through, burning and ripping her,

Xavier and Jean already alert, one for be the most powerful telepath felt a disturbance, a great pain. The other…Well , Jean indeed was awake, just reading, when suddenly her mind was invaded with Marie's voice, in panic and pain.

"Jean!!" It is not just words that telepaths use for read others mind or communicate, in fact the words are more a necessity from those without this ability. So when Marie was raising her hand, in an instinctive act to touch Wolverine, Jean not just felt , but already was running up the stair ,to Logan's room.

Charles was surprise in already seen Jean coming, as he contacted the others. Meanwhile, Logan and Marie were overwhelmed with their feelings, since Rogue touch Wolverine.

He was feeling helpless, weak, with a surprising fear ,it would have making laugh of the ironic, if his life was being drain _"defeat by a kid, that stupid cat(saberthooth) would love hear this"_

She couldn't think anymore, if she could Marie probably would be questioning why she call Jean, and how she did. And then she would find some lame excuse for it. But she won't need because Logan is the first mutant she touch, and he didn't pass out as Cody ,or some assholes who tried take her by force when she was runaway before Logan.

It wasn't just thoughts or memories, it was feelings ,scents ,and pains. She needs to get out, she is losing her sense of self ,she can hear Logan's breaths lessening, and she can hear voices, heart beat. She is gain acknowledge of how to kill, how to escape. Everybody is suspect. She see awful things. She was afraid, was angry, feral.

"Marie, let him go!" It was said very gently, as Jean arrive as the others ,more some curious students. Marie let go, but can face nobody, can't face her.

Jean want go after her but have to assist Logan, Xavier was also concern but has to think first on Logan and the children were out of bed.

Jean was very concern with Rogue, it was so fast, but happen so many things at once. She felt some of the transfer of _"Of what? Feelings? Memories? It was more than that ,I could feel…Wolverine in her, his psyche…I have to help her ,I need her…I mean need to help her" _

But Jean had to take care of Logan, and couldn't reach Marie through a mental link. Unfortunately Bobby did, or someone looking like Bobby.

When Jean confirmed that Logan would be fine ,thanks to his healing factor, she went after Marie. But she was gone. Professor found her on the train station, and although Jean really want to go there herself and bring the girl back. She denial, using excuses of have to help professor X , and give comfort to the others kids , trying to diminish the other girl real importance for her.

It turns out that Magnetos plain wasn't for Wolverine, it was for Rogue, but it was too late. Xavier tried to stop Magneto of take Rogue. After he pass through Storm, Cyclops and Wolverine .But fail, and Magneto took her .

With Senator Kelly showing in their door steps, they finally have some answers. Jean was terrified, Magneto was going to use Rogue to take his powers, to use in a machine that will cause two things. Transform humans in mutants ,and kill Marie.

Jean was out of her mind, she had to find her, with Kelly's death and professor in coma for using a sabotage cerebro, she risked her mind, to locate a girl, not even so important for her_ "nothing can happen to her...I'll make him paid, if he hurt...ahh..What is this pain, pressing my heart?...nothing can happen to Marie, my sweet Marie..."_Not even having time to deal with those thoughts, meaning denying it. She was able to locate them. And she was pissed off struggling hard to not let her angry dominate her ,she was felling a powerful force, wanting take over, but it was scary, if release she didn't thought possible control it.

The fight on the Liberty Statue was arduous. Jean didn't fight well, had to restrain herself, with all that rage and powerful force, she was afraid of be uncontrollable. In the end, Rogue was saved, barely ,and Magneto arrested.

After tending Logan wounds, seating at her office in the lab, she broke down._"She died, for some instants, she was dead...if wasn't for Logan...what I do, now?!She is special; i like her, a lot...what am I going to do??"..._That night, between sobs, despair, and guilt, Jean decided be closer to Marie, be her friend and be there for her. She decided to make clear with Logan of her feelings ,lack of fellings,for him. Also be more present to Scott, a better girlfriend. Because to Jean, that was for the best. She wouldn't ignored the connection she felt with Marie_ "we could be great friends, will be!!"_.Would give to Scott more attention._ "We don't have sex since Mar...Since Magneto start to act on his plains...Yes, too many things to worry...What he was after for...why Wolverine, than Ma..Rogue, Rogue and those hazel eyes,i get lost...And her lips...if could be touch I would have...SHIT,SHIT,this isn't friendly thoughts...wrong, so wrong!!"_

If it was already hard keep those kinds of thoughts out of her head, imagine with a flirt Marie. With the boldness and sexual need of Wolverine plus obstinacy and class of Magneto. She was almost irresistible.._"so cute, such sweet girl with this air of ferocity with nobility, but with this softness, and compassion that is just Marie"_

Everybody else thought it was just Logan traces, but Marie and Jean knew different. Even if was deep down, Rogue knew those was her own feelings been unleash by Mags and Wolvie personality, both direct and sure of what they want and unafraid of get it. She just let her feelings ride in their fearless disposition, to bad her control was enough to let her fears and bigotry restrain her actions.

Jean hoped that it was the girl feelings for her speaking on those encounters of flirting and teasing. Even if she denied such hope._ "Is not like I would act on it...nor wanted...right!?"_

They were managing fine...

"Hello ,sugah!!"Jean look from the report on her front to the person on the door, already knowing who was, she call everybody sugah these days.

Although she always uses clothes that cover all her body, arms and legs, these ones were tight, glued on her body._"God, it's getting harder and harder"_

Jean body language change, pupils dilate, quickened breath. Marie could hear Jean's heart hasten up, thanks Logan's enhanced hearing. She got bolder, and move near the doctor.

"Everything is fine?Yo...You need something?"Tried Jean, focusing on her face and not on the hot outfit _"HOT??Who said hot??Nobody said hot!!"_

"Ahh, nothing wrong. Just want to see you"Sayed Rogue, soft close to her ear._ "When she get this close, have to put some space here"_.Geting up, to put some papers on a gabinet,remain stand .Which soon she realized the mistake.

Rogue walk to her, leaving no space to back away, only passing through the girl, in a very very narrow room.

"What is this? What is this, me and you ,Dr. Grey?"Say with some fear maybe, behind all that bravato.Putting a slightly shake hand, on the older woman shoulder. Not seeing other alternative, not even wanted too. Jean letting a sigh ,put a hand on the girl waist ,pulling close to her."I don't know, can't explain, it's just when you are near ,it seems..."Now, embrace in each other, Rogue finished the sentence,showind in her voice her shyness and insecurity. "Like you are been call?"With a nod and tightened the hold, confirmed right. They lock eyes, and their souls talk again, without words, or logic.

"_When is just us ,you can call me Jean _"Jean smiled ,seeing that Rogue allowed the mental connection._"ok...you too..Call me Marie,i mean"_. Even if the denial still there, and neither would admitted their true bond, real fellings.In that moment was acknowledged a deep connection. And with a promise to a great friendship they release each other.

Leaving their souls lost and hurt for not been ready to admit in their conscious the truth. And their minds with false peacefulness, believing on a friendship to fulfill, what belong to immortal and true love. But with the same one thought.

"_OMG,I ALMOST KISSED HER!!...almost kissed her"_

Almost...

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I don't own those characters, or anything to do with the X-MEN. Well, except the movies DVDs. I don't gain anything from this. They belong to MARVEL, and to FOX.

**This story is a femslash, you know 2 women romance, don't like don't read.**

Just quote means "normal speech"; quotes + italic means _"privates thoughts"_; and quote + underline means "mental dialogue; shared thoughts"

**A/N:** This chapter was revisited. Add some details, but the story is the same

CHAPTER 3

So it's been a while. Logan was gone, chasing his ghosts. Marie went a little depressed with his departure. He was like a paternal figure of sorts, which didn't stop Jean feel a bit of jealous, especially with Ororo comments of cutes crushes, hero worship," _or something equally foolish"-_Jean's thoughts.

But it was foolish, not for the hero thing, he indeed saved her. It was just scary been in a place with strangers, even if she stay with Logan for not too long, they had a friendship bond, an understanding of been fear among mutants too, not knowing where they belong. This was what has between Marie and Logan, they were dangerous, and loners, and she felt at ease with him.

"_Is it wrong, want to be me? Be her protector, her savior? God!!Sometimes I just wanna hold her...others kis...sometimes a damn her mutation, others I'm quite grateful. Don't wanna know what I would have done, if I could touch her...ARG!!NOTHING!!...I just want comfort her...yeah, right..."_-Jean sigh frustrated.

The students (most of them) tried to hide, but feared her, others saw her as a challenge, like been her friend was something equal to a radical sport. Fewer saw her as unique, sincere, and kind (well, behind that entire attitude). Bobby, John and Kitty were the ones more insistent and sincere in a friendship. She really identifies herself with John, for be rejected and foster children. However, it was Bobby who seek her the most, it was obvious his crush on her, which in fact she encourage. The fact, he was a mini version of Scott, must be just coincidence. Even if those type were easy to date, they were indeed great guys, but the problem was they didn't acknowledged complexes emotions, been a leader, a model, didn't leave space to deep emotions, complicated emotions. It was square, objective, so ease to pretend be someone satisfied, and content, not just to others but to yourself. A reliable, plain, perfect good guy. Maria was thinking on the pros of date Bobby.

At least trying-_"I very nice excuse, ehr, I mean very nice choose...Yes, nothing to do with Jean...What she's doing anyway? Must be in her lab, she's working too much lately, but than I didn't knew her before...If I leave now, maybe I can see her before dinner...huh?"_

"I'm sorry, what?"Ask Rogue, catch on hers thoughts

"You are not paying attention, if you keep this up, you'll fail your exams" annoyed with the girl, he jab "I'm sure Mr. Logan appreciate all your attention, even gone, but try leave those dreams in your room". On her left Bobby frown at Logan's name, behind him Pyro only snicker; not from Scott comment, but from the murders look on Marie's face. It wasn't even too much because of the comment, but with all the happenings in Rogue's life it was enough. The girl of before her powers appears would have blush, tried being small. This one, with so much lived, and endured on such young age, gives back.

See, wanting to be there for Rogue, the ONLY reason cause that's what friends are for, Jean started to spend a lot of her time with the girl, annoying Scott to no end. Not only she commence to help Marie on her mind exercise, professor idea when he noticed the ease going and friendship growing with the two women, but on her free time they would be talking, or just in each other companies. Even, if the personalities fade with time, their memories remain, and isn't a cool breeze have remembrance of holocaust, of the pain from labs experiments, desire and pleasure in kill, fear and hate of being chase, torture, all kind of terrors like she lived them. So sleep was minimal, only the necessary if luck and dream with her own fears and memories, or Cody that provide her the most restful sleep, with dreams of horses, cars and football.

Unfortunately, more often nightmares occur, so full of terror, cruelty and pain, which leave Marie awake from the rest of the night. Jean also was awake correcting grades, or on the lab studying, research, avoiding sleep with the boy scout, whatever; she was always up until late, and Marie would come by, talked to her, sometime about her nightmare, Erik's memories, how she was starting understand his hate, his fear; Or Logan very confusing ones, more about sensations like the pain, the scent of blood, of metal, of fear. She would talk of being scary for awake still craving for the fear, felling good, and disgusted.

Jean would discuss with her about what she knew and thought of Magneto, of Logan, that she didn't fear Marie; she knew how strong she was, with a brave and kind heart. She would confess how hard it was to be with her parents, aware of their fears and even shame and guilt. But often, they would talk about nothing and everything, share dreams, thoughts, likes and dislikes, sometimes disagreed than laugh. What most warm Jean's heart was see Rogue not seek her advice or assistance just to science matters. She would often come with a book of philosophy, history, literature to discuss. Would bring questions of X-Men fights, wanting to know what she thought about it, what could had being done different, what was more efficient, talk about politics, ethics. Challenge her logic, skills, intelligence, and trust on it. Jean was felling more useful, prepared and cherish…

It was really sad, they didn't accepted much less confess their true feelings; which even without acknowledge it was there. Two half hearts, trying to believe being whole, two minds trying to rationalize pure love.

Admitting or not, a bond between them couldn't be hide, nor ignore by everyone with half a mind. So Scott was jealous, no from possible affair, but from not being more the priority as if he was someday. And from who he was losing other then 'Logan's kid', so he start to pick on her, more hard and pushing further, which led to that eventful afternoon, on Mr. Summer's class.

Combining together Marie stressful moths of adjusting to new people, having to review most part of what she learned on school, surviving all through Magneto sordid plain, worrying about Logan, struggling with need of normalcy and with the need of Jean; which cause an infinite deal of stress, depression, and others emotional distress that began consume her away. Scott nasty comment was enough to make her snap, and she did it.

Releasing her hold on the remains of Wolverine and Magneto personalities and sum their dislike of Cykes with her own. No need to say it was a hell broken loses, leading Scott escorting Rogue out of class, or he tried.

Not paying attention on Marie clothes, a little disarrange, enough to show a bit of skin, he grab her on a naked forearm… Wow, it was nasty, veins start to show through the hand and arm holding Marie, she screaming from the pain, invasion, it was like a rape of mind, both trying to release, confused. Jean and Ororo arrived together, terrified with the scene, one more specifically worried with the young girl than her boyfriend. The result was an unconscious leader, a new set of windows, thank God for the small favors, a guilt and very distress Marie, now having to deal with new manners, traits, and two cannon of energy behind her eyes. The good part was see through his head, see his goodness, rightness, his goods skills, his loyalty and devotion to the X-men and professor Charles, his believes, the worried and frustration of a power he can't control-she related with that. The bad, really bad part was his memories of Jean, the kissing, the sex, realizing his sincere feelings, his insecurities, that in the end of the day is his bed she share with. To know he feel the difference between the intensity of his love for Jean and her for him. With guilt, Marie feels relief.

Believe or not, the Rogue with Wolverine and Magneto on her persona was amusing, cute with this air of aggressiveness and class with clumsiness. Now, the Rogue with Cykes personality was a pain in the ass, always correcting, lecturing, and taking the lead, people was getting annoyed ,but it has benefits like never her room was so clean and organize like was on that period, she was better on physical exercises, and defense. To study she has those urge in more hours, and more devotion, but Jean was there to make her realize it was unnecessary, which it was.

In fact, that was the only time that Jean saw Marie complain so much about everything, made her see how much bother Scott her; it was the only time she was tired of Marie. Thank God it did last less than the others. One Scott was enough.

The rhythm was disturbed, for less than two weeks. The students react better that time with the accident, and didn't bother Rogue. She was 17, and was behind in school because had to runaway, it was almost a year with the X-men and she was able to reach her fellow colleagues, and now she was proceeding with Xavier teachings, and X-Men training. She was giving some thoughts in going to college; she would have time to determine which career to choose, but already decided being an X-Man, stay there.

"_I believe in Xavier ideas, and is not like I have somewhere else to go. And they are like my family…definitively not staying because of Jean…"_

And Marie stayed. Because of Jean.

"…_because of Jean"_

_TBC…_

_Reviews please_


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I don't own those characters, or anything to do with the X-MEN. Well, except the movies DVDs. I don't gain anything from this. They belong to MARVEL, and to FOX.

This story is a femslash, you know 2 women romance, don't like don't read.

Just quote means "normal speech"; quotes + italic means _"privates thoughts"_; and quote + underline means "mental dialogue; shared thoughts"

A/N: This is the last chapter of the pass, from the next on it will be on the present. And I hopeful would be able to write more in detail, and with more action, less insight. **Thanks for reading, to those review thank you. Hope you keep coming and enjoying.**

This chapter was revisited. Add some details, **one major scene**, but the story is the same

CHAPTER 4

Hands that longed for so long in feel caress the silk skin of a sensual body, and it burns, the air was full with scents, their arousal fuse as their bodies._"Jean _"sigh until that moment, untouchable Marie.

And Jean opens her eyes, into hazel orbs of lust and love. She only moan, could only moan, and dragged her nails through the other's back, who winced in pain and pleasure.

Sweating, panting bodies, molded together, fitting; fingers inside of them, together in harmony. While their fingers, and tongues, and whole body bring then to the highest, two souls shared each other, acquainted one another, an ancient love, an eternal love. And then they exploded in multiple sensations, hard to breath._"Marie, my Marie" _Jean had a tear slipping through her face, and a smile of adoration, from the overwhelming feeling of her love resting on top of her.

Jean open her eyes, drained, resigned, and in pain of see the same watch, male watch on the nightstand, she groan in disappointment feeling a large, heavy male hand on her hip. On the floor below, a girl shed few silent tears, very different from the previous night in which she sob painfully in silence cries of despair and loneliness. Having to face the lies, and confess in her mind, her heart, what her soul knew since...since forever.

Those dreams, were intense, livid, with a painful sense of fullness .It was more than desires, was a sense of belong, of home. But can imagine, what was like find out you were not where you was to be, and only visit your place, your soul place in yours dreams? Dreaming were amazing, wake up was devastating. The wiser will be confessed to each other, surrendering to their destiny, to their souls call. But that will be too easy, simply, what life had of those things? Life is complicated, and important, everlasting things was hard to get. Find your soul mate must be so amazing, wonderful, true happiness. But also the most dreadful thing you already felt. At least it was to ours two heroines.

All struggle, from both, in not act on those feelings, it was from the sum of fears, concepts, guilt, values, that made them whom they were.

Jean feared being judge, being rejected by the only family that understand and love her. Scott was first of all a great friend, someone who love her, respect her and share the same ideals, morals, not just Xavier's ideas of peace between mutants and not-mutants. They were very much alike in dedication, organization, strive the most of their abilities. Well, she knew him for more than ten years, the last six in a romantic relationship. She didn't want to lose him, and in a more self-preservation way, didn't want to lose the stability, security and comfort he provided. But all of that and so much more lost their importance the moment where she accept her feelings for Marie, and only one fear stay ruling.

It was the fear of her powers, her tamed powers. She pretended not know why it was increasing, but she knew, she knew of sessions with professor where she didn't remember anything, but saw the look of concern, worry and most of all fear on the last person she would want to see, at least until she meet Marie. It seems that all of her loved Marie, was draw to the girl, and this force, full of fury and revenge wanted her too. Since their meeting, she was changing, to saved Rogue from Magneto, Jean did things with her power until then inconceivable afraid of give in, of unrestraint her feelings. She never want to see a look of fear on Marie face, her sweet Marie now that she couldn't lie to herself anymore.

And Marie had the insecurities of an inexperienced. In face of feelings of such magnitude, even the more prepare, mature, would had being scary. But it was also her power that hold her back. How could she put Jean in a relationship without touch?

**Flashback**

**In a very cold evening, Jean and Marie were snuggling in each other as close as their layers of clothes would aloud. They were talking and laughing, it was late, and Scott and Ororo were on a mission of recognition. "Oh, GOD!! I can´t believe he said that!!" "You can't!? Imagine my face when I heard Sam said that Scott couldn't 'manage a woman like me', that I should have a MAN worth many ones" Marie laughs even harder, and sudden she is stroke with the beauty that is Marie. Rosy cheeks, laugh tears, and some string hair fallen on her face, she was beautiful.**

"**Beautiful!" Marie stops laugh a little and wiping her tears with her fingers she ask, "What?"**

**Jean was mesmerized; there was nothing more, no denial, no gender, no age, and no mutation. With her hand she pushes the fallen hair behind the girl's delicate ear, linger there, using her sleeve hand to caress.**

**Marie stop laughing all together, her heart was pounding wildly in her chest. "Jean, what are you doing" She whispered, but Jean wasn't listening, thinking, she had just one thought**_** "I need to taste it"**_** looking at the girl's lips. And Rogue all mental process stop, feeling the older woman's breath on her skin. Fear, longing, desire, and all that denial suspended. And then there weren't thoughts or protests, or caution. Only two halves communicating, one soul complete as lips meet, tentative first. A bottom lip captured between two more experienced, a tongue licking asking to enter, which was granted. A tongue welcoming, caressing, sliding in the other, knowing through previous encounters, only made in a mental astral.**

**Hands and arms embraced bodies already known, fitting perfectly together. The day their meet came to Marie's mind, of an old acknowledge being made, but it was from Jean's point of view. Before she could think of why was that a pain come through her body and she felt Jean' moan and tremble. More images continued coming, and the pain is almost unbearable. She is trying to let go, but it is hard. She now could feel Jean powers, voices started to be heard. She felt Jean beginning to weaken.**** "JEAN, LET GO!!"****"I can't!!" ****Jean was almost unconscious when she start to get stronger, Marie felt a burn inside; they weren't kissing anymore, but in a tight embrace. Marie started to scream from the pain, the pressure of a fire, of a power unbearable, their feet weren't touching the ground anymore. Marie open her eyes to look not on the calm green she so loved, but in a green with flames like a forest on fire. Even so she wasn't scary because she knew that it was still Jean, she felt. Then she didn't felt or saw nothing more.**

She didn't want to see Jean in so much pain or danger ever again._ "If the professor didn't arrived and put us both in a coma…urgh, I don't want to think of what could have happen!"_ But she knew that it was nastier than before Xavier keep them both in a coma for almost a week. Actually, she staid almost a week, while Jean stay a couple days in a deep sleep. Charles said it was to wait the powers borrow from Jean to weaken, protecting her of any harm such abilities could cause; and Jean wasn't intentional, she was just weak for the among of time they kept in contact. And even if Jean couldn't remember, Marie knew there was something more powerful and wild inside of the doctor.

The kiss was never discussed, nor even acknowledged by themselves. But when they met in their dreams, it's felt a difference. A longing for the real thing, because even with those so livid dreams, it didn't compare with the real feel of their skin feeling each other's bodies, or those soft and juicy lips. But Marie wouldn't risk Jean well being again, it would kill her.

However, hold someone in a relationship, without being able of physical contact, unable to hold, kiss, hold a hand, and snuggle on her naked body. It would be unfair; she couldn't allow that to happen, Jean would have said not to care, but until when? Sooner or later she would have started to resent, feeling obligate but not satisfied.

She may not had any relationship, cause Cody was more like a friend plus curiosity, but with Logan and Magneto in her head, she knew how important was the physical contact, the sexual contact, and with Scott she learn how much Jean reach for a embrance,how she was sexual driven. But most of all ,the dreams, somehow she knew it was more than dreams, she thought they somehow share those moments, and it was frustrating, somehow satisfying on it, but awake was almost insane, knowing it wasn't live for real, only a reflex of it.

Jean also was in a battle with herself, in spite of be months now of dreams of love and sexual encounters, Jean since the beginning realized it wasn't just dreams. Her mind ,not restrain by her conscience, was seeking Marie mind, also receptive without the barriers of her conscience, and those dreams was indeed happening in the mental level. In the start she was scary, that she mind being projecting those image in others minds, but soon realize that she and Marie were in a link, a mind link. She avoid think about it for months, but after their encounter resulting in their coma, she started face some facts.

Like known their skin contact was through a kiss, _"As if I could forget those lips"_ , which she seek, the nights she pass beside Marie waiting she wake up, hurting for her, the guilt and the suppressed feelings she have time to deal with it. Most of all she tried to continue ignored, thinking about what Charles wasn't telling her about the event. She knew he was keeping Marie in coma because of that thing inside of her, and she vote in never allow it to hurt her girl again. _"I kill myself first"_. With such resolution she couldn't keep running from the true.

The true that since Marie came around she couldn't bear live without her. She couldn't pretend enjoy sex with Scott anymore, or seek his touches. Or deny her disgust and jealous when she saw Marie flirting with Bobby Drake.

She noticed Marie moves, looks, types of laughs, hides to cries. She knew her dreams, share secrets…From the last two years (almost) she breath, talk, learn, and felt Marie. Only Marie.

She also concluded that this link where they met, it was form since the beginning, but ignore by their mutual desire of denied their deep connection.

It was a awkward couple of months after their skin to skin talk, Marie that never had being self-conscious with Jean since they started the training sessions and meditation together, now was jumping with every move, always cover up, and more distant. Jean couldn't remember anything that hurt more.

But then with the beginning of her acceptance of her feelings, her sub-conscious began getting more bold, more free; and their dreams more livid, more explicit.

Jean is between Marie thighs, breast feeling breast. She kisses Marie deeply, while the girl's hands are running through strong and slender shoulder. Her nails with the right among of force through her back, Jean moan rocking her hard abdomen on Marie hot center. Adjusting to both centers touch, both sigh in ecstasy at the feeling. They are panting, bodies glisten. Marie legs are wide open to feel Jean full and complete. They are together reaching that high; eyes lock as they explode in pleasure, a kaleidoscopic of sensations. Their connection more deep, more real.

The next morning , Jean wake to a back burning with scratches and Marie with love bites on her neck. Marie couldn't face Jean anymore, for being unable of deny even more the true of her feelings. She passed to avoid her. And Jean found something that ache more than Marie physical distance, it was her complete absence.

"Marie! Can I talk with you?"

"huh!,I'm …I'm busy right now…I have to…have to do stuff"

(Sigh)"Marie you are avoiding me, please let's talk" It was Marie turn to sigh, defeated and guilt cause she was definitely avoiding Jean, and felt her pain.

They went outside. Into the trees, far from the school. Marie staid by big tree, facing Jean, waiting. Both were extremely nervous.

"Look, if this is because what happen yesterday ,on the museum. It was Bobbie and John, and those guys. I didn't.."She was babbling, about an incident ,John and some stupid guys that didn't knew when to back off. Jean didn't let her proceed with the diversion.

"Stop! It's not that, and you know it…Please, you…WE being avoiding, ignoring this…this thing happen with us, and now you're trying to stop are friendship too, ignoring me? I'm miss my best friend!!"Her eyes, moist, so many emotions could being read on them. Marie was emotional too, a lump was forming in her throat. Jean was nervous to see if Marie would allow their mental link, she didn't have to wait much.

"I'm your best friend!?(Surprised and overwhelmed) but, I thought …Ororo was… (Stopping when she felt Jean getting too much nervous) sorry, it was a surprise, a very nice one. But you're right…and..I'm sorry hurting you…it's just too much…having to feel …and these dreams…"

"It wasn't dreams…I mean, it was more than that. My mind and yours connected, our encounters truly happen in a mental state "Marie closed her eyes; touching her neck where the bite mark was already faded and a tear fall, not because Jean's revelation surprise her. But because now she realized the depth of that conversation, swallowing hard, she decided not run anymore. There and then ,they would face their feelings and what they would do.

"I think, I knew it…GOD, I'm so tired…since I met you I've being fighting, struggling with this…thing"

"Let's call it for what really is… it's love…we've running from love…I loved you since you came through that door, almost 2 years ago…it's useless remain in denial "that was the only moment, where Marie smile, not a full one, but it was there, and her eyes shined, erasing in that time all the pain that talk was causing, because not just thoughts they could share, but also the other emotions, and with the progress of that talk, voicing their feelings, it didn't change the decision both made.

"I love you too, so much that I think it's killing me, others time it's the only thing making me breath(she could feel Jean understanding, she felt the same)but I can't touch you, I can't give you anything you need"

"You can give me everything I need, sweetheart! GOD!! I can't believe how much I fight against said this, accept it…It's not your mutation, or if you work or not… It's just… (Sigh)I can't disappoint Charles, or hurt Scott, or this school…A relationship with a student, even if you have almost 18.You are 10 years younger, the parents of the students would talk and likely take their children off this school…It's so fuck up…I can't! I just can't "Rogue wants to hold Jean, that start crying, so desperate and sorrowful. Matched Marie feelings, she felt all the pain, and Jean felt her .But there was more than because of their friendship, and all the confession each other made, along their times together, Rogue knew there was more, she was the only one who knew of Jean acknowledge of another entity living inside of her, she felt it in her when she touch Jean. And therefore the only one who knew the reason to Jean hold back her emotions and the development of her powers.

She didn't had to ask, looking in Jean's eyes, she could see the real and much more important reason. She saw sorrow, pain ,but also flames, something want to get out. All the time Jean was struggling, controlling. And Marie knew, that she increased the struggle, the flames, she understood. And Jean knew that Marie knew what she didn't said.

"I don't want to lose you, it was stupid being away from you…These last two weeks were hell "Jean put her arms around Marie, also crying too, ignoring the girl worries. Both were with long sleeves.

"you're not going to lose me…I'll be here for you…always…and as much as it break my heart not have you ,like my soul long for …I'll be here, I'm here for you as your friend"

Rogue grip harder Jean waist, and carefully rest her head on Jean covered shoulder. With Jean's arms involving her shoulders, and chin resting on top of her head, in her hair.

"You're right, and is painful…but as long you continue in my live, is bearable. You can count with me to everything…I love you!"

"I love you too, Marie"

They talk for nearly two hours, without knowing that it was the last meaningful talk they would have. That afternoon, some 5 hours after, Logan arrived. And Jean soon after went with Ororo in search of the mutant that tried to kill the president.

They meet again, when Jean showed to get them, Marie ,Logan, Bobbie and John, from Bobbie's place. It was a mess, they arrived right in the moment on it Marie was use Pyro power to extinguish the fire on the police's car, guess who?

"Are you ok?!Are you hurt?!Let me see you?!"

"Jean…Jean!!..I'm ok, just a little shaking. God!!What a mess!!You're ok?"Meanwhile Ororo was introducing the stranger blue-demon-like-German mutant, Rogue stop to Look at him, with interest and a little uncertain."It's OK, he is harmless..And I'm fine, just very worried with the professor, Scott, they are missing"

"We'll find them" Sensing Jean's insecurities about herself she add "Hey, I know you, and you can do it, I trust in you" She sense Jean smile, even without see it, because she was co-piloting the X-jet. She felt Jean soothe her nerves, it was short lived. There was jets on their tail, she couldn't put her seatbelt cause of cloves too big in her hands.

Jean concentrate on ,Ororo had take down the two jets with a tornado but not before one of them fire two missiles. She reach the missiles with her TK, and while she was trying to stop them, Rogue notice Logan looking at her with surprise and concern. She thought it was funny he see Jean's abilities reach such level, when she was capable of levitate him to the torch of the Liberty' Statue._"As if his bones didn't weight so much more with all that adamantium. Why everybody saw her as weak and vulnerable. Jean is so much more strong and capable…and beautiful…"_Those thoughts mingled with thoughts of her seatbelt and want to slap that expression of Logan and Ororo face, she also felt the energy surrounding Jean, before everybody else, but soon all of them felt her power emanate of her. All that in seconds, and then Jean crashed down one of the missiles.

"Marie ?you're ok of there?"Jean was worried feeling Marie anger and despair, got a little side track

"Jean, there is another one "Say Ororo, trying to keep calm. Jean realized have missed one, couldn't stop him far enough "Oh,God!!".The missile explode to close from the jet, open a hole on it structure. Not having time to process Jean question, Rogue was already flying off the jet, screaming, falling.

"Marie!!"Jean start to release the controls to what? …She didn't know, but she have to go to Marie."WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU DOING?"Ask Ororo, who put Jean's hands back on the control, flabbergasted with Jean's actions. Before Jean could reply, or think. Kurt, the blue mutant teleport, vanished on a smelly dark smoke, to right after reappear holding Marie.

"Sweetheart?!"Right then ,Jean had to make her nerves of steel, to not let go of that flyer control and garb Marie in a deadly grip."I'm fine ,Jean! Scary to death but fine"

"Jean?!"Ororo ask, seeing the jet losing speed and lowering. Jean, just then realizing that the hole was been close and they were been landed."It's not me" Not soon she say, they see Magneto controlling the Jet ,and Mystique on his side, they were laughing of something he said.

Marie at view of Mystique, felt something, an acquaintanceship but she couldn't put her finger on it.

After landed, and camp, was discuss what to do. Of course magneto has a plain, which involve search Kurt's mind to locate the headquarters of Strike. Jean found the place in Kurt's mind, it was on Alaki Lake, same place from Wolverine memories. That night they fix the Jet and rest to invade the place in the morning. At least they try, only Bobbie and Kurt sleep with some peace.

John was thinking of magneto and his ideas, his hatred for humans was increasing. Magneto was planning but always alert with his enemies around .Ororo was worried with the children cached, Professor and Scott. Wolverine tried to get involve with Jean, showing his intentions.

Rogue saw and was going to interfere "It's fine, I should have put a end on this a long time before, can't avoid anymore" Rogue stay where she was ,but remain linked with Jean, knowing what was said, it hurt her a little when Jean said she love Scott, and she choose him "I know, but I have to said…It's not like I could said the true, and he won't stop until.." Logan take advantage of her distraction and kiss her, and said that Marie get angry and jealous was an understatement. "please ,don't…stay there, it's just a good bye to something he would never had" She tried to soothe Marie, sending her images of them kissing, showing that in her mind and heart only had space to Marie.

After Logan and Jean encounter, Marie meet her inside the jet, alone. They just embrace, Jean use her hand with the sleeve enlarge to cover up, to caress Marie' face. "God!!I was so afraid when you went flying out the jet, I didn't knew what to do, almost went after you" Now able to find some humor, Marie gave a discreet smile "if you would, what could you do? Both of us would fall" She became serious, realizing the implications of that statement. "Honestly, if Kurt didn't had brought you back inside, I would have…In that moment I realize that I couldn't live without you" Seeing a tear run through Jean sculptural face, she dried with her clove thumb, palming her cheek. She didn't said anything, it wasn't necessary. Jean could feel all her love like she could feel from Jean "when I saw Logan kissing you…I want to k… I don't think I can see you with Scott, not after everything…I don't know how…" taking Marie's hand on her face and bringing her fingers to her mouth and kissing, she convey in the gesture all her feelings "I know, I don't think I can either…Maybe after all this I'll talk with him…ended…at least I won't be playing with his feelings but more important hurting yours" looking each other eyes, their minds quiet, and their souls communicated, and loved .There wasn't words, only feelings, sensations. To who wasn't able to touch, Marie show so much with her eyes, touch so much with her heart, they saw it will be impossible to continued without the other complete, whole in their lives.

Became aware of the place, and sense someone coming, their souls say good-bye as if sense something terrible was to occur. In a impulse, uncontrollable, Rogue step closer and lean briefly and barely touch her lips on Jean's it was gone before could be notice, but for two souls longing so much and in such syntony, it was felt. And then they were separated of each other before Ororo came. That night they didn't sleep, both were with a sense of dread almost unbearable.Something terrible was going to happen.

Too soon it was morning, and they were already close to Strike hidden place. After another discussion, Mystique went inside as Wolverine. Bobbie, John and Marie was told to stay in the jet."Please, I need you stay here, I won't be able to concentrate with you being in danger" Jean plead before Rogue could protest, she accept Jean's wish. John was less mature, and whine his displeasure, as if someone care.

While they were inside ,Marie felt every moment through Jean's mind, she almost went after her when Scott attack her. It was difficult but she catch Jean's reassurance. "That's OK,I can take him" And Marie knew she could, and she did.

Then a excruciate pain ripped through her mind, and Bobbie felt two. John went after the others, but somehow she knew he was on his knees too. She felt Jean suffer, and knew Scott was too. Not soon enough it was gone, but she could feel Jean worry, and desperate.

It was when she decide do something, and with some notion of how to turn on the Jet. She attempt pilot it. It was very hard control it, the flight and she landed too hard but on time to save everybody from the dam that break down, but she wouldn't see that way. She would always remember as breaking the propellers.

"Thank God you came!!"

"How are you? Your leg?!" ask Rogue the moment she saw Jean

"I'm fine honey, you did great"

"Lets get out of here" someone said, maybe Logan. Meanwhile Marie get caught helping the children buckle up the seatbelt.

"Ororo?" "Can't ,we lose the propellers"

"Come on" While everybody attention were on the panel, Jean realize that everybody is going too died. She could let that happen, not her friends, her family, her Marie. Something in her want to get out, be release. She start walking through the ramp."Jean?!What are you doing?!" Rogue saw, and soon enough knew, but couldn't move or speak. It was incredible Jean's force. When the others realize, she already was outside, with the ramp up and lock.

"Please, Jean don't…Please ,babe, come back you can do it from inside" She remain her hold in Marie, and in Kurt. Using the professor, she said good bye.

"I know what I'm doing…It's the only way" And while she raise the jet and fix the malfunction.

"Please, love, forgive me. I have to do it" Jean's voice, even if only in her mind gain another vocal, as if two of them were talking, and she could feel a force consuming her, burning from inside. Marie felt too, as if she was losing her before the waters come crashing, felt this other force that it was also Jean, but it wasn't. It was just feelings, sensations, burning all her logic, conscience."PLEASE!!JEAN,WE FIX THIS,DON'T GO…PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME…PLEASE BABE,I NEED YOU" 

"I LOVE YOU" It was Jean's last words, with was also the last words that touch Marie. But just to Marie. And looking on everybody else faces, shocked and sad. Looking strong and rivals men as Scott and Logan was, broken in an embrace full of despair and sorrow. See the most center and collected persons she ever knew, looking lost and devastated as Ororo and Xavier were. She though they were the lucky ones; and they were because they were feeling. Her pain was so ,and there isn't a word or words capable to name her pain. She was a hole, as Jean was swallow by angry waves, she was swallow by this nameless force, much more then pain.

"_I love you too"_ And the girl soul, heart died when she didn't felt the other woman presence in her mind. She wasn't numb anymore. She was nothing, empty. Right then and there just remain a body and a mind .

There remain just a rogue.

TBC

Reviews are welcome, feedback very useful.

**A/N**(2)**:** I know, until now I didn't deepen on the happening of X1 and X2. So basic everything on these events happen the same way. Only Bobbie and Marie never date, and Jean didn't give that much space to Logan. Now on will be more develop cause is were I would liked to start, just have to give some background to Marie and Jean love for each other.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I don't own those characters, or anything to do with the X-MEN. I don't gain anything from this. They belong to MARVEL, and to FOX.

**This story is a femslash, you know 2 women romance, don't like don't read.**

Just quote means "normal speech"; quotes + italic means _"privates thoughts"_; and quote + underline means "mental dialogue; shared thoughts"

A/N: **Thanks for reading, to those review thank you. Hope you keep coming and enjoying.**

This chapter was revisited. Add some details, but the story is the same

CHAPTER 5

"_Four months...four months without your voice, or your eyes sneaking through my body…It's ridiculously ironic how we realize the true meaning of the looks, the excuse touches…"_

"Rogue?"

"Huh?!..Oh! ..Yeah…what is it, Storm?"

"Are you OK, honey?"Rogue flinch, almost imperceptible at the endearment.

(sigh)"yeah, just peachy"

"Honey, you can talk to me…I know you and J..Jean became close. She was my best friend, I want to help ..""Look!!(Cutting her, before all the-wanna-be-your-friend, and-know-what-you feel-speech)I appreciate your concern, but …"_"you don't know shit, you missed her? Huh!..I craved her, need her. You couldn't possible know what it's like.."_ Oh! How much she wanna said ,scratch that, wanna scream those thoughts, and much more. But what would be the point?!She would only get sympathy ,like it was just a simple infatuation, and pity maybe hatred ,if she said it was reciprocal. So she just gave the same standard answer.

"…(sigh )I'm fine" Seeing the incredulous look on Storm, she adds "if I really need, I'll come to you "and smile to good measure.

Storm really didn't believe, but being the nature goodness, provide her with a calm, knowing that everything had their time. Rogue was not ready.

On the Jet, that so tragic day, she was devastate, but what shocked her even more with it was a though, she knew it wasn't hers, asking, pleading actually, to her take care of Marie. She keep that thought, and a promise. But only now, after reform of the mansion, and damage control with the panicky parents, wanting to pull out the children from the school, she could reflect on Jean wish_"Ro, take care of my Marie.."_Her Marie, it was what bother the most, but she loved Jean as a sister and if Marie it was so important, she would look out for her, and maybe find out why she mean so much to Jean.

Since last month the spirit of the children, the friends who knew Jean it was improving, Xavier made a point to talk and discuss as much as necessary with the students and her, and Scott. Helping which other deal with their grief made them all more close and hopeful. But Rogue didn't, she become more distant and withdrawn each passing day. And even if it was expected from Logan, Marie behavior it wasn't and she was deeply concern. So she couldn't and wouldn't give up.

"Marie.."From the hard glare she receive, remembered not call her by her birth name.(another more long and tired sigh)"Rogue, you're not fine. All of us missed her, suffered with her-_it's still so hard to say!!-_..Death. We have to deal with it, even being so painful "Rogue don't said anything, her eyes were empty."I know that she was there for you, she mentioned your talks at night" Something as a spark pass through the younger's eyes, it was gone just as fast."Jean cared about you, and I so do I.." "Don't…"Rogue said with such a weakness, first time she is showing some emotion." please..Just stop…I know you want to help, but you're making really hard…I don't…just don't wanna hear it ok?!" The more Ororo saw the girl struggle, the more she wanna push, she want to make her let out her pain ,help her grief and move on. Unaware of the rage growing inside of Rogue._" shut up, I don't wanna hear anymore, can't you leave me alone…_"(Marie start to feel her knuckles, almost like something was going to rip her flesh, to lash out her fury)_"if you don't stop I'll hurt you…/hurt her/make her back off/just walk away_(in her thoughts, another voices whisper, almost fading, the same time)

"Rogue.." "Ororo, that is enough, I think our Rogue need more time."-"But Charles …" – "Please Storm, don't insist, come to my office, so we can talk" – "Fine, but just because I think you know something"-"I'll be waiting, dear"

"Marie…I can see you're not ready…I'll leave now, honey…but I'm not give up, you need to let it out .Jean wouldn't want to leave you alone and I already can't" Before Storm leave the room, Rogue reinforce her speech "I really don't need your concern Storm, I'm fine "Giving an look of sympathy and worry, she shook her head, very lightly showing not being convinced, and leave the room.

_(sigh)"Finally!...I don't know if I can stay around here…Too much talk, too much people interfering/they care, kid!/they could help you/they won't understand/you should make the humans paid/she seems nice, would understand/…Shut up!!Just shut up…FUCK!!I need silence…just silence"_

"Charles?!""Ororo, how are you this morning?"

"Charles(with frustration in her voice)what is happening? Why you stopped me? Or why you don't try to reach her as you being reaching Scott and Logan?!"

With the calm and open face he always have, Charles not even try to hide his amusement at the look of confusion and frustration of a so controlled and calm woman "Storm, calm down..I need you take a seat, I'm very concern with our little Rogue too "Noticing how much his mood somber ,Ororo try to calm down and seat at a chair by the window, with her back to it facing the bookshelf on the opposite side, Charles comes in his wheelchair from his desk to her front, but close to the bookshelf.

He didn't knew too much, more feelings he could sense. Things he start to see before Jean's death but keep to himself ."I don't know if I should be telling you, but I've being notice yours attempt to reach Rogue…You also is very intuitive, so you could have more progress with Marie and help me see the things more clear.."

"Now you really have me worry, what it's?..I know Jean has a impact on all our lives, she had the biggest of the hearts, but Marie is so depressed, I'm ashamed for not had seeing it before"

"None of us, my dear…We all have to deal with the greatest impact of our lives…(sigh)The fact is to me, I thought our pain, as in me, you and Scott was more felt…Jean has a great role in those kids lives, but she was our family, I just assumed it was more easy to the students"

"Yeah, I know what you mean, professor! And in some aspects is true, it was more difficult to them deal with death in general, and the extent and results of men hatred, and the proximity; then lose Jean…In the beginning I thought it was Rogue way to cope, she always was introspective. But it's more than 4 months, and she almost don't eat, don't talk with anybody. Nor Bobby nor Kitty…I would thought it was because of Pyro ,if it wasn't for…"Storm dispersed, thinking if should tell the professor about jean's plead .But it's almost impossible hide something when he is focus on you. She decide Charles would be able to help.

"She said something in my head, when she was already outside the jet "If he was surprise he didn't show, just made a nod with his head, to go on

"She said to me take care of HER Marie…I didn't thought much of that then, but now this last month I have time to look at Marie, able to study her moods, her behavior…Urh!!I don't know what I'm saying anymore.."

"Come on Storm, I know you have some opinion. What you're trying to said?" "I don't know what to think! It's just her voice was full of care, of …of love, she said Marie' name with so much love. Now that I can think about it more clear, she show me so much feeling with that phrase. I can feel even now the love trough my head and body when she said…"

"So, you think is nonsense Jean cared and love a friend? It was two years, much less then what me and you knew her. But she pass almost every day of this last two years with Rogue. And from what I know they share so many things, precious things with each other. It's nature to you, to us that Rogue trust Jean, why can we accept that jean trusted and had as her confidant as well ?"

"It's so surprising because all the times she talk with me about Marie, their friendship, encounters at night, their meditation session, she never showed this kind of feeling…I could feel excitement and satisfaction in their progress in their mutual trust .I could feel a happiness, that I never saw on her before…But I thought it was for being feeling more useful…You know more then I do that Jean always felt less fitting, like she didn't do enough…That feeling…love didn't seems like the one I feel for my pupils, nor for my friends…It was more deep, more intimate"

Charles had close his eyes while Storm speak, and with was thinking on the occasions where he saw the two girls( they were like his daughters so it was girls to him).Remembering some feelings and thoughts he unable to block, for being to powerful. He brought his hands palms together, pray alike, to his face, resting on his chin, in contemplation. After speak Ororo wait his response.

Meanwhile

"Man! This sucks!!"Jubilee say "Why we have to study, even if school don't start yet!!"

"Quit whine!!It's being half a hour you're complaining, if you were studying you would be done by now" "Sorry!!It's not like I have copies of my self help to read this essay, Sam!"

"OK, both of you! This is a library, so silence!!"

In a much lower tone ,Jubilee say "Humph! Since Mr. Summers put him tutoring for his class, Bobby became so uptight " "You mean more than he is, right?..Since Rogue started to dismiss him, he became more implicating…It's very annoying!"Jubilee and Multiple look over to Zack Banks a boy call lizard cause of his green and scale skin, with amusement

"Since when do you use words like dismiss and implicating?!Ask Sam and Jubilee add" Do you even know what it means?!"Ignoring their sarcasm, Zack shrug "Rogue used to help me with my study" A look of sadness fall on their face.."Yeah, she used to help me either" The three stay quiet for a while, thinking about their friendship with the older girl, much different from the others like Bobby, Kitty ,Lorna, that thought were more smarts and cools then them ,for have started their X-Men training. Rogue treat them equally, helping them without being cocky, well at least until Jean's sacrifice death. She still treat everybody with respect, but there is a distant ,a cold, hostile and unreachable distant.

Before, this distant was there already, but it was different. Only to protect, something that came along with the physical distant that she always had to put with everybody else. But with little time on the institute, she make friends, and her eyes, and actions show tender and confidence. Trying to help, especially, the newly arrived to adjust. They knew Jean was responsible for her open and welcome behavior, lowering her walls with kindness , understanding and patience. Now with Jean gone, they saw just a shell, empty. Sometimes the only emotion there is a anger that stop any attempt to reach her.

They missed Jean, that's for sure. But they also missed Rogue very much. They were the ones to first realize that Jean wasn't the only one that didn't come back from Alaki Lake.

Back to Charles Office

"What are you saying?!Charles this is absurd!"

"Why?..I mean you already said that Jean said that last words with love, very different from a love's friend, or of a teacher to a favorite student…What you could think different from what I said?"Sometimes it was very unnerving see someone so collect, at ease with the most shocking or relevant ideas _"Yes, just an idea…Because this can't possible have some sort of true!!"_"Why not, Ororo? They share so much, were always with each other…I believe even, that understand each other better then everybody else"

"Professor, it can't be true…I mean they were close, and is true, they have a bond. But …Ok, let's forget for a moment that Jean live with Scott for years, and were together for 7 or 8 years, She would never put this school, your name, or her reputation in jeopardize over some affair with a student(the last part she almost whisper)"

"Storm..I didn't said they have an affair(he raise his hand to stop her comment)I just said they could be in love" Right now Storm stand and start to pace in front the window, she notices Marie walking to the bents near the trees, far from the school and some kids who try to engage her in a conversation.

"Come on ,Storm. If you think about without preconceive all you knew about Jean until the moment she meet Marie you'll see"

_Flashback_

_Ororo enter the recreation room."Hey, Jean" She sits besides Jean ,who is distract with something and don't even noticed her greeting, she realize how beautiful she was, seems even glowing. When she turn to look at what captivated her friend attention so complete living her mesmerize, she saw Rogue reading a book to the small children, making faces and voices._

Now

"There was some many times, I saw the two…they weren't doing nothing, but their looks, the way they always find some object to touch on the same time…Some times touching the same flowers at the garden, or the same glass…I never thought more than a friendship, or Jean's way to help a girl who couldn't touch feel connect, with some kind of warm…But with Jean and Scott I never…But if …My GOD!!...If you put aside Jean relationship with Scott, you're right it's possible to see…But how?!I mean Jean is not gay. She would have tell me…Why she didn't tell me?

(Puff).."Hello!"

"Shit!!You scary me, Mr. Wagner!"Say Rogue more annoy then scary."Sorry, Ms. Rogue…I didn't mean it…"Ms Rogue was enough for a big roll of the eyes _"Can't these people leave alone!!First Storm, then Jubilee with that other two from the tutor class, and now the German teleport. Not to mention Logan, Man! I can't believe he make me eat breakfast.."_

"Sorry, what did you said?" "Oh! Just that you could call me Kurt"

"Yeah, sure…It's alright just call me Rogue by the way" There is a awkward silence. She want to be alone and he not showing any signal of leave or say anything. She couldn't decide which was worse.

"Sorry Ms…I mean Rogue, Kurt don't want to interfere" _"Then don't"_ "But Kurt notice so much burden and pain in you"_"Speak, definitely worse"_ "Just thought you could talk, I'm good listener" _"Well, you should be, cause speaking you sucks"_

"Look! There is nothing.." "You missed her too much,non?"He cut her, leave to the blue elf to go straight to the point. "I..(Cough to cover the lump forming in her throat)I'm fine…(getting defensive)It's none of your business anyway"

"Like I said, sorry for interfere…But you should let.." "FOR GOD SAKE!! I'M FINE!!WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!CAN'T LEAVE ME ALONE!!SHE WASN'T IMPORTANT!!"While she scream at him, without even notice she took one hand out of her clove.."JUST KEEP NAGGING AND NAGGING" She keep advance in his direction, getting close.._" shut him up/he should paid/suffer/why he didn't catch her like you?/think before/shut up/SHUT UP!!" _All thought at the same time, all hers and also not. "KEEPING ON AND ON,LET OUT,LET OUT(here she put sort of a whine voice)TALK ABOUT IT ,WE KNOW HOW YOU FEEL" Kurt was terrify, but didn't seem to remember he ability of get out of there in a blink, she start push him, with every word she push. One glove hand, other naked. Kurt could hear someone calling from afar, but coming close.

"Rogue!!"Honey, calm down!"The voice coming closer."_Marie let Kurt go!!"._ Xavier who being talking with Storm try to reach her telepathic, he is surprise and horrify of some many voices and feelings. Durant the two years Marie was in the school, accidents happen. Not many, but there was more than Wolverine, Magneto and Cyclops. But even each entity carry a different personality, they were reign by Rogue emotions. They provide only the outcomes, which could be dangerous, even lethal. So while Storm try to reach her physically(so to speak)he try mental, but the voices act like shields, and Marie's mind have powerful walls, so he was having trouble to do it without hurt her.

"GUESS WHAT?!YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT(she was holding him by his shirt, bringing his face closer and closer of her face)…You couldn't possible know..I can't let out EMPTINESS!!..She wasn't important she was EVERYTHING."There is a could in her voice, Kurt didn't know what was more scary, and she was screaming or whispering. Storm already reach they, it was more distant from the house, but from the window she could see them and saw and Marie start to advance in his direction. When professor sense something wrong she didn't think twice, running out here she thought with was good that most of the kids were with Logan at the danger room or with Scott in class. Now ,seeing Marie like this she was wishing different._"Maybe Logan could calm her down" __"I already call him. He's on his way"_

She could hear Marie whispers now, she was that close. And the same time it broke her heart also send chills through her spine. It was painful and cold._"Not just the words, is getting could"_ Taking a moment to look at Kurt, from behind Rogue, Storm notice he shaking ,but soon realize it was from fear, he was getting pale. Looking around and down she notice the grass freezing._"Oh My God!!It's Bobby power, but how?!It's being long ago she touch him?!"_She couldn't wait any longer, afraid of Rogue causing Kurt some harm.

"You should have catch her!!"Rogue couldn't being sure but she was feeling again her knuckles hurt, like something wanting rip from inside out."I'm sorry!! I try!! Please stop!!I'm sorry!!"He keep saying, but Rogue didn't care, she had enough of everybody and he would be the one paying .But then she hear Storm steps getting closer, and she sense Storm movements, hear her heart and quick breathing, and when She launch herself to Rogue, to catch her by surprise and immobilize her, Rogue already on it .

Happen so fast, Rogue spin, with glove hand catch and hold Storm arm and with the naked one she catch Storm neck. It was like all her air being suck out of her, and her life, her energy being draining. It was the first time Rogue didn't scream, she like the pain, welcome. Storm thoughts, feelings and memories were filling her._"How good it's being fill, another thoughts, feelings, memories."._She relish the foreign mind, foreign life.

Logan arrive quick but not enough. Everything is so fast, but to storm and Marie it's a life. Storm don't have strength _"Ahhrh..It's like being devoured by weakness"_ She is ready to black out.

"Kid!!Let her go!!" He start to move in her direction, but stop, his movements restrict. _"Magnetos power!!Charles do something!!"_ At seen storm so vulnerable, losing her light and strength he feel a pull in his soul, an halt in his heart. Xavier don't want to shut down Marie's mind, because it's possible cause permanent harm, with her mind so volatile. He have a idea.

"_Storm! Focus your thoughts in Jean, I'll bring yours memories of Jean to the front"_ Storm not even respond, she already was in a semi unconscious state, but managed to do what he said.

"Kid! Look what you're doing!!This it's not you!!HEY!!LOOK AT ME!!..Marie!!"Logan is trying to get Marie attention, desperate to make her leave Storm. "I swear to God, if you hurt her.."_"What Logan? I can't see her suffering, God what is happen to me"_ Deep in thoughts of his feeling for Storm _"what better time, then when someone like a daughter to you is killing someone you, realize, more then like"_ He almost didn't hear it

"I'm tired, Logan!...she shouldn't have leave me and I can't any more…"But then images of Jean smiling and talking start to showing ,one in special –_you don't know how special I felt, Storm!!I'm so proud of her…Marie grew so much these months, not just her powers. But as person..When she told me of her plans of being a X-men, and her plans to help younger mutants adjust. I'm so happy!!She made me so happy!!"- _Marie saw the memory, and a lot more. And with terror realize what she was doing, and release Storm and Logan. The first fall unconscious, the second came rushing to her side on ground.

"I'…I'm s…"She don't think just sorry would be enough, it's so profound her sadness. Shame of her acts, it start to rain, indicating Storm's powers. Logan already is taking Storm to the medical wing, in a emergency room.

"I 'm sorry" She keep repeating. "Rogue what happen?!"By now some students were getting around, noticing the commotion. "Everyone, there is nothing to see here, go back inside, to class…Now go on"

"Rogue!" "No! I can't believe I did this …with Storm no less!!" "Rogue, please I need you to focus!..(Sense her attention) You're not OK ,you need to come to me. I have to exam you closer"

"Professor! Oh professor I didn't…don't know how it happen…I can't …I just hurt everybody…OMG!!How is Storm? Is she…Did I…" Right now Rogue was on verge of panic. Kurt, who is still shock but much more composed, it's still there look at Rogue, feeling sorry for her, and guilt_."Kurt this isn't your fault, it was coming. If someone is to fault should be me, who didn't meddle before she reach the break up point" "but now is over, right?!Young Rogue would be fine now, right"_ Even being scary to death, Kurt feel so much compassion for the girl, he feel her despair, her grieve. He sill care._"Kurt I need you a favor…I need you teletransport Marie back to the mansion, and stay with her until I finish exam Ororo..Can you do that?"_ Kurt is afraid of being alone with someone so powerful and so anger. Because it was that the primordial emotion he see in her eyes. But he never see someone so much broken either, so he put aside his fears and did what Xavier ask._"Marie, Kurt would bring you back here, alright? And he will be staying with you until I come to you"_ Marie it was in some sort of semi-catatonic state, didn't object.

"_I'm so sorry" _

"_I'm sorry, Jean"_

_TBC…_

_Please review!!_


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I don't own those characters, or anything to do with the X-MEN. I don't gain anything from this. They belong to MARVEL, and to FOX.

**This story is a femslash, you know 2 women romance, don't like don't read.**

Just quote means "normal speech"; quotes + italic means _"privates thoughts"_; and quote + underline means "mental dialogue; shared thoughts"

**A/N:** I'm very sorry for the great delay. It's very hard to write in another language, when you don't know well enough. It takes all the fun of it, and fun is all that matters specially when you don't write, and don't have talent to it. I started this to know how hard it was, and mostly because there is so few stories of this ship that a felt I had to do it.** Thank you very much for those who review, I'll tried to update more soon**

**Thanks for reading. Hope you keep coming and enjoying.**

CHAPTER 6

"_It's still raining!...thank God this isn't the first time with Storm powers… Storm…I can't be here anymore/darling ,they could help/she's fine/they deserve/(_Rogue rub her forehead ,trying to dismiss her migraine and multiple voices)_I could have kill her…In a moment wanted…not kill ,but absorb her complete ,be somebody else, be in other place…Jean(a lightning fall with the mental whisper of her name)"_-Rogue is deep in her thoughts ,ignoring Kurt that in the last couple of hours is sitting on top of a cabinet in Xavier's office looking at her with a mix of compassion and fear, actually she is unaware of everything ,so immerse in her mind, and this stillness that surround her, cuddling her .But she can't get comfort ,cause it's full of sorrow, despair. It's hollow.

And it is standing, looking outside the window, the rain, a result of this afternoon, and a tiny peace of her mood, that Charles Xavier find her.

"You can leave now, Kurt .Thank you for wait with Rogue"-Xavier don't want lose time, deciding talk to Kurt later, already knowing he was more scared then hurt, with Rogue explosion.

Kurt just smile, a awkward smile, turn to Rogue as if to say something, but not knowing what, just shook his head, nodding at Charles .He is gone in a smoke and a puff.

Meanwhile, Marie is totally immersed in her thoughts, but aware of his presence ,as her agonizing quietness is disturb .Charles take his time, looking at her, taking in her appearance .The desolation she fight not to show, but is around her, inside her, through her core.

"_She is so thin; lost so much weight…I'm sorry child! I didn't see your suffering! It's so evident ,the slump shoulders ,the bag under her eyes…Her eyes ,how could I've ignore her empty eyes ,without brightness ,hope ,nor purpose…How am I going to help you ? There is anything I can do ? "_

"I'm going to make my bag this evening .In the morning I'll be gone" It is said so abrupt ,startling Xavier for an instant . Her voice is quiet ,but full of resolution and also devoid of any emotion.

"What make you think I want you gone? It isn't the solution " Xavier said a little more loud than her , with calm and comfort ,but with the same resolution.

"I don't want stay" she sigh and repeat in a defeat tone in replacement of all her determination " I don't want stay here…I just can't"

"R..Marie ,I should…I'm sorry, I didn't realize the depths of your sorrow. I couldn't see , but now please let…"he is cut with a hollow chuckle "please!?There is nothing…there is nothing left to be help…Look ,I don't want help ,company or pity…Why all this concern ,anyway ? I just lose some control … She's fine , isn't she ?"

It is his turn to chuckle " Some hours ago you almost absorb Storm till death…There was so much hate ,pain ,and personalities in you that I couldn't reach you ,not with out the risk of leave you as a vegetable"

"I wish you did "is her reply, a whisper that Charles almost doesn't hear, wishing not have it. Feeling the girl losing in herself more deep, Xavier decided being direct_ "and let's hope she will come out with out back fires"_

"I know ,Marie" He said ever so softly .She turn around for the first time ,sense something in the way, so full of love ,tenderness ,he said those simple words ,in others circumstance vague. She almost let him see. But the feeling of a small ,micro crack in all her den ,as must have happen with the den in Alaki lake, (must had started with a tiny fraction).She lift her thin ,and look at him in the eye, with such a coldness, a defiance…"What? What do you know?...No, let me guess, now is when you said about what you did to grieve, of know how is difficult but I should let it ALL out "If in the conversation with Kurt alarm bells were sound, this would be the point where it would be start to sound again.

Xavier rub his temples ,listen the massive voices in Rogue's head getting out loud ,so to speak ,and angry .He start to think briefly ,that it's act as protection ,like a shield ,blocking outside interference be a person just talking or mind readers ,and also providing support, advice .He briefly though of what great defense .But the most impressive and equally dreadful realization is how the others personalities medley themselves in Rogue personality, offering different out comes or reaction to the same feelings ,there isn't one alien feeling ,it is all Marie and is all the others too, as the feelings was hers and the attitudes and reactions were theirs .It is powerful .Overwhelmed he risk break through her, or her control.

"I know…that you loved Jean…And that Jean loved you"

--

In the medical facilities

Logan, is in the corner of the room, looking at Ororo with intensity as if her life depend of that, his life depend of that. All his senses are on her, look for any change. Suddenly he is at her side .To anyone else with out sharpen senses nothing would have change, but Logan notices the otherwise imperceptible changes on breathing, eyelid, caching the change on the heart beat before the machine , indicated Ororo awake.

--

Rogue is so numb ,hollow .That the broke ,the anger never came .And Charles watch with morbid fascination ,all the anger and voices be quiet ,it's like a symphony reaching the climax ,only to come down one nano moment before to a haunted and melancholic chord. And felt more than saw, a pain so full, so complete that overshadow everything else that is Marie. Xavier is a man whom saw and lived enough, felt so much, that he knows what is despair and grieve, or he though he knew until now.

He gave her time, watching every movement, trying to catch some of her thoughts.

"_Darling, you should tell him, Chuck knows this stuff/Oh please! Charles wouldn't know where to start, all he cares is he precious humans/I want to go home/ where is mommy? /Child ,your home is here now ,I'll be fine/…"_

All the voices speak almost the same time ,but he could distinguish the strongest .Logan, Eric, a boy that he conclude is Cody, a girl the sound like a young Marie, and Ororo .And others he deduce she must have encoder in her journey before meet Logan, afterward everyone is quiet. And a voice that always brought peace , comfort and love that only a father could feel said with love and caring-_"Marie ,tell him…Sweetheart ,talk to Charles, he will listen, he will know"_.

And the girl that until this moment, Charles only could think as a woman that lived enough, see her as the child she still is for him, so lost, defeat. And as a lonely tear falls through a face that couldn't show anything, cause didn't know how or where to find, she walks and seat as the tear, slowly ,quietly ,on the sofa. She is ready to talk.

"I…Hum…We… (sight)"Rogue don't know what to said, nor if she want to said anything._"I don't think I wanna share my fee/Our feelings sweet"_. Xavier is surprise with the sudden silence in Rogue's head. All the voices ceased, and then after a minute or probably less trying to said something ,he catch Marie's thoughts, her voice and Jean's .He gets emotional, even if knowing that voice is only a projection, however full of memories and characteristic of Jean, he gets flabbergasted realizing that Marie/jean is calling in his mind , sending images, memories explaining what Rogue can't with words. And explain it did…

In another place…

"Jonh!! Why are we here, babyyy ?! Can we go to a hotel , or a cabin ?!"

"Sweet, the whole purpose of camp is being around the nature…" "but there is bugs here, and all this noise …" "Honey, look the scene!! The trees behind us ,the lake right in our front…(taking a deep breath) …the clean air…this is peace"

"I don't care, these sleeping bags are rough, and the bugs don't let me sleep, and is cold… (almost having a fit, or would be a tantrum?...)"

"Tell you what…(deep breath, this time to stay calm)…We stay one more day, you stop complain and start to look around you ,trying to see the beauty and peacefulness ,and if tomorrow you still aren't enjoying ,we go find a cabin , ok?"

(big sigh ,one pout ,crossing her arms over her chess) "Fine, but you'll have to gimme a rub on my back and on my feet and we get back ( give a little cute smile)" "As if I could said no to that"

Somewhere else…

"Take it easy, Ro!...Wait, don't try to talk, yet…here ,drink this…it's just water hon.…"

(coughs, to clear a dry throat, and to take time to find her surroundings)…"Thanks…Logan?"

Thinking quickly to stop Ororo from thought why he was there , he start to question her of the events ,or of what she remember .Maybe help him understand what happen , cause he certain didn't have a clue of why Marie attack her . He is trying to convince himself that it was some sort of accident –_"Maybe the kid lost her control , maybe it was… MAGNETO!! … yeah , he must have take kid's control"_-Somehow he doubt his own cause.

"Logan ? What…How?..."

"Shh..It's ok Ro…you're in the hospital wing .You'll be fine just need some rest, to regain your energy"

Even intrigue with his presence ,but extremely please and warm ,Ororo relax again and let her mind wander . Suddenly images of all her life being taking from her ,like a invasion on her mind, the memory of a indescribable pain , Ororo for a moment is back there on the garden, looking in empty eyes _…"Not empty ,never see so much desperation…"_ Her friends ,her family ,her laughs and cries , all her victories and defeats, not just remembered but also felt ,and she can't breath, and …_"Can't close my eyes, but how I wanted…can't close…"_ And than she remember being calm ,_"that it's I'm going to die …"_ Resignation? It was more familiar, secure, she felt Charles in her mind ,he was manipulating her memories, and than she saw Jean ,when they meet ,what they talk ,what they lived together. And she felt Rogue cry, her shame and regret, and she didn't remember nothing more. Slowly she calm down, realizing that it was just her memory ,that she is safe now, all that is gone

"SOMEBODY!! I NEED SOMEONE HERE !!...God Damned!!"

"Logan…" "I NEED THE PROFESSOR HERE ,OR THAT CHIC DOCTOR HERE…""Logan…Logan!!"

"RO!!..Darling ,what happen?!... You start to panic…Easy now, don't move, I'll get some help…"

"Logan I'm fine…I'm fine, you don't need…LOGAN, stop!!" Ororo is half stunned, half amused with Logan rambling, but very intrigue with what she saw in Logan's eyes , concern and love-_"Love? humph…now this is what they call delusion…They must had give you one hell of drug"_

"_Ororo?" "Yes, professor" "I'm glad to feel you're awake. Are you feeling well ,dear?"_Ororo smile ,knowing that Xavier already knew the moment she wake up, but decided give her time ,knowing Logan was with her. Logan calm down a little the moment she become responsive again , didn't take his eyes of her ,he recognize the vacant look now ,the one she have talking with Charles trough their links –"_Since when I started to note this things?"_ while Logan is think about when he started to care to much for Miss Monroe ,she is with Xavier still in her mind

"_Thank you ,Charles. I'm feeling…fine ,I guess(knowing she couldn't lie to him, even if he wasn't in her mind)…I don't know…physical I'm just tired and sore…But I'm feeling so much…like all I felt in my life I can feel in the same heartbeat" - "Is understandable, you pass to a very traumatic event, very much different from the previous time Rogue touch you (Xavier add before she could protest) ,this one was much longer and with intent , which is more relevant then I though" –_ Storm try to understand Marie, try to not feel fear or resentment ,but Charles felt it; and feel pride in see that despite all these feelings she is truly concern _"How is she, professor?"—I don't know, Storm. Honest I don't know…Never see someone so broken ,We are talking right now ,and things are getting clear.. Anyway, I just reach for you because I sense your discomfort not just in you but in Marie too" – "You sense my discomfort in Marie? How is that possible?...No, now is not the time .I'm fine ,we'll continue this later .You should focus in Marie as I have Logan here"-"Very well, my dear. We indeed shall talk more about it later. Go calm down Logan…You're good to him"-"Professor!!"-"(chuckles)Until later dear"_

Back to Charles' office

Marie, impelled by Jean' psyche, initiate a link with Professor Charles; allowing him see memories, _**flashbacks**_, which should explain enough.

"_**Hello ,sugah!!"Jean look from the report on her front to the person on the door, already knowing who was, she call everybody sugah these days.**_

_**Although she always uses clothes that cover all her body, arms and legs, these ones were tight, glued on her body."God, it's getting harder and harder"(she though)**_

… "_**Everything is fine? Yo...You need something?"Tried Jean, focusing on her face and not on the hot outfit "HOT??Who said hot??Nobody said hot!!"**_

"_**Ahh, nothing wrong. Just want to see you" Said Rogue, soft close to her ear. "…**_

"_**What is this? What is this, me and you ,Dr. Grey?"Say with some fear maybe, behind all that bravado .Putting a slightly shake hand, on the older woman shoulder. Not seeing other alternative, not even wanted too. Jean letting a sigh ,put a hand on the girl waist ,pulling close to her."I don't know, can't explain, it's just when you are near, it seems..."Now, embrace in each other, Rogue finished the sentence, showing in her voice her shyness and insecurity. "Like you are being call?"With a nod and tightened the hold, confirmed right. They lock eyes, and their souls talk again, without words, or logic.**_

"_**When is just us ,you can call me Jean **__**"Jean smiled ,seeing that Rogue allowed the mental connection.**__**"Ok...you too..Call me Marie, I mean"**__** …**_

"_**God!! Marie, are you all right?" Jean was trying real hard to not show all her worry.**_

"_**What happen? What did Scott do?" Marie hide a smile at notice Jean' concern and her assumption it was Scott' fault, not her. Even blind (technically her eyes were only close, but with two lasers' bombs behind her eyes she didn't had many choices, did she ?) Jean was too beautiful for her own good "and mine"**_

"_**What ,honey? What did you said?" In her musings she didn't notices Jean proximity, until she was touching her face. "Jesus!! Don't tou…" "shh…It's OK , honey. I'm wearing cloves, see ?" The sarcastic reply was on the tip of her tongue, about see, when she noticed two things; first and more important was that Jean' hand laid gently on her face was trembling, second that was the most soft glove she had ever seen, I mean felt it.**_

"_**Jean, how..why…hm…I mean (sigh) Why are you shaking? (almost whispering, with some emotion on her voice)" **_

_**Jean closed her eyes and though about hearing Marie calling in her mind, then students screams. The worst scenario pictured in her mind until she arrived to math class, Scott class, and for a moment she didn't see Marie, only Scott on the floor, and two holes in the wall, students were running; in that moment of not seen Marie her heart stop beating. Then, as if she has been call ,she turned around to see her beautiful girl standing near the corner with her arms around the face.**_

"_**My beautiful girl" though Jean looking at Marie angelic face, caressing it with her glove hand, sliding her thumb through the girl cheekbone, memorizing her contour. "I thought something real bad happen to you…(with a soft voice she continue)…For a moment I couldn't see you…( a tear slide through her face as her thumb goes to Marie lips)"**_

_**Marie in that moment felt sorry for Scott mutation, for been unable to cry, even if the tears burn behind her eyes. It's her time to tremble, at feel Jean' touch through her face, coming to rest on her lips, which she unconscious parted.**_

"_**I thought you were hurt, and then I had to attend Scott injuries… I was so damn worry… **__**You are very important to me, Marie" **_

_**Through the lump on her throat , Rogue only possible reply was**__**…"You are very important to me too, Jean"**_

Xavier saw much more. Saw similar conversations when Marie had an accident, for touch someone or in a training session.

"_**Where were you, when this happen?"**_

"_**Jean, they were training. Hardly anybody fault ,honey. Besides, it was just a cut, nothing serious"**_

"_**I'm the doctor here I decide what is serious or not. This is not the first time, Scott. You better stop pushing her so far…"**_

"_**You're not serious, are you implying.." "I'm not implying anything, I'M SAYING. YOU STOP THIS CHILDSH IMPLICATION, OR YOU'LL HEAR FROM THE PROFESSOR !!" The items on the shelves start to shake.**_

"_**The 'cut' on her forehead, almost made her pass out!! Better start being more careful, because if she get an injury bigger than a band aid is necessary to cure you will be dealing with me" …**_

He saw the tenderness, the understanding, and the complicity they had for each other.

"**Keep focusing, deep breaths …That it's, now empty your mind form all thoughts…"**** After a while, Jean and Marie sitting cross leg in front of each other didn't said or do anything.****Jean with open eyes, observe Marie closely, the eyes that blink from time to time even closed. Her respiration, and her body language; to anybody else Marie was relaxed, in meditation estate. Jean knew better, Marie was still agitated, still there rationalizing .**

"**I can't, it's useless!! You shouldn't waste your Saturday afternoon here with me, Jean!!"**

"**Hey, where this is coming from? We're making so much progress, honey"**** Jean reached Marie's face to caress. Since Scott incident, Jean make a point in be the one using gloves for their sessions.**

**Giving a relaxing sigh mixed with a moan, Marie almost melted or purr in Jean's hands,**

"**You never told me why your gloves are so soft"**

**Jean laughs ****"Oh! This are made with a special material, thinner latex so to speak…(Jean's hand continued her journey through Marie's face, her eyebrows, eyelids, nose, lips, coming to rest on the base of her neck one, and the other on the nape, scratching, rubbing it, with fingers coiled in her hair)… So you liked, huh?"**

**Marie indeed purr ****"Oh, yeah! I loved it"**

"**Guess what?" Said Marie form the doorway of Jean's lab. Jean smile hearing the girl voice.**

"**What, honey?"**** Marie already was inside, sitting on the exam table in there. Holding the hand Jean extended to her, she start to show through their link, instead of just tells.**

"**That is great, Marie !! So you now are with your class. Uau, this is great. And you took only 7 months to catch more than a year of studies…"**** Giving a hug on Marie, and a quick kiss on her forehead she whisper "I'm so proud of you, honey!!"**

Xavier is flabbergasted with the intensity of their feelings, special from Jean's memories. In fact he couldn't fathom the depths of what he was seen it.

**  
GOD, I'm so tired…since I meet you I've being fighting, struggling with this…thing"**

"**Let's call it for what really is… it's love…we've running from love…I loved you since you walk through that door, almost 2 years ago…it's useless remain in denial ****"that was the only moment, where Marie smile**** "I love you too, so much that I think it's killing me, others time it's the only thing making me breath****(she could feel Jean understanding, she felt the same)****but I can't touch you, I can't give you anything you need"****...**

…"**You can give me everything I need, sweetheart! GOD!! I can't believe how much I fight against said this, accept it…It's not your mutation, or if you work or not… It's just… (Sigh)I can't disappoint Charles, or hurt Scott, or this school…A relationship with a student, even if you have almost 18.You are 10 years younger, the parents of the students would talk and likely take their children off this school…It's so fuck up…I can't! I just can't" ****…**

…**Rogue knew there was more, she was the only one who knew of Jean acknowledge of another entity living inside of her, she felt it in her when she touch Jean. And therefore the only one who knew the reason to Jean holds back her emotions and the development of her powers…**

"Oh my God!! She knew!!" Rogue opens her eyes and look at Xavier with an ache impossible to describe. Suddenly this ache is replace by coldness " I don't know if she knew exactly like you seems to know, but she knew there was something inside of her…it scary her, and obligate her always control her feelings, her powers"

He doesn't need telepathy to understand the accusatory tone, and also doesn't need much weighting to tell her about Jean's powers. About how he and Eric went to her family home to tried bring her to the school, how he felt and saw her powers and their extension, how she lift all the cars parked on the street using her TK with only 8 years old. And she understand Charles fear of all that power in just one person hands, how he saw a part of Jean personality that it was arrogant, without feelings of guilt, remorse, or care. Only an accurate sense of survival, self-preservation, and omnipotence. And he tampered her powers, locking part of it, this traces of personality grow, intensify forming another personality which call itself Phoenix.

"So with was your fault!!" Charles is interrupt in his tale and waits Marie elaborate. Marie understood, which doesn't mean she agreed.

" To try tamping her powers, that YOU felt it couldn't be good or safe to everybody else, ops! I mean to Jean, so you lock a part of who she was with the most of her powers and doesn't expect that she develop another psyche?!" Marie is pacing now, angry, on a roll.

"I did what was from the best, she was a child with a power beyond control. I was concern for the other too, but it was thinking on her safety that a did what I did, I loved and always will like a daughter, I couldn't anticipate the collateral damages!!"

"COLLATERAL DAMAGES!? Oh, that is rich! Jean was your older student, and she had to deal in see all her friends evolving, becoming more strong, making their powers more useful, and she (here she let a sob escape) your most, THE MOST FATEFUL AND DILIGENT follower, was left thinking and feeling a loser, always denying herself pleasures or a break for fear and guilt…How can you said you love her like she was daughter, and never let her know the true. She had a right to know the true and decided what she was going to do!! How could you deny her that?"

Xavier with tears in his eyes thinks briefly how that talk ended here, and not for the first time he question his decision about Jean.

Marie seeing Xavier distress and true pain, calm down a little, remembering how much Jean loved and respected him. She goes back to her seat.

" It is as if you had another option when she was younger, but you had to… she had a , needed to know, to understand what was happening…(tears started to fall again) maybe if she knew what it was, if she at least understand she wouldn't fear, and would be still here" She finish in a barely whisper. " Why you said that? You think she could control Phoenix?" "Well, we won't know now, but she didn't have to go outside to lift the X-jet, you know?"

**  
...****"Jean?!What are you doing?!"**** Rogue saw, and soon enough knew, but couldn't move or speak. It was incredible Jean's force. When the others realize, she already was outside, with the ramp up and lock.**

"**Please, Jean don't…Please ,babe, come back you can do it from inside"**** She remain her hold in Marie, and in Kurt. Using the professor, she said good bye.**

"**I know what I'm doing…It's the only way" And while she raise the jet and fix the malfunction.**

"**Please, love, forgive me. I have to do it"**** Jean's voice, even if only in her mind gain another vocal, as if two of them were talking, and she could feel a force consuming her, burning from inside. Marie felt too, as if she was losing her before the waters come crashing, felt this other force that it was also Jean, but it wasn't. It was just feelings, sensations, burning all her logic, conscience.****"PLEASE!!JEAN,WE CAN FIX THIS,DON'T GO…PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME…PLEASE BABE,I NEED YOU" **

"**I LOVE YOU"**** It was Jean's last words, with was also the last words that touch Marie…**

"Yes, I thought so. I felt her fear, I thought it was from the situation… She was afraid of her powers, wasn't?" Xavier now realized that it wasn't just Jean that had a great insight of Marie emotions and actions, Marie is showing a great and deep comprehension about Jean.

"Yes, she always thought that if she let herself go, if she strive too much in potentiate her powers she would lose control of herself" Marie answer, remembering the several times which Jean confess such thoughts, and how the times when she felt in the X-men training she had with her ,the fear and the holding back Jean always had when in use of her powers.

"I always…" Maria thought for a moment if she want to share this much with Charles, but after allow Jean psyche come to the surface of her mind, she felt a comfort and trust for this man, even after all it was reveal "…I always felt her certain of can do more, always felt her taking a step back…(giving a tiny smile for a good memory)… On exercise I always seek her for guidance not just because I trust her more, for be my best friend; but mostly for know that she was capable and in several occasions was ahead of the others, even from Scott; and I mean in a physical level, cause intellectually it's not new for you"

They keep talking, Xavier telling about the child he knew and Marie about the woman she love. Suddenly Marie frowns, and brings her hands to touch her temples as if in pain.

"What is it? What it's wrong, Marie?" Xavier leans towards Marie, as if to touch her (they were that close, after while on the conversation Xavier came closer to hear she was sitting) touching her sleeve arm , he reaches her mind noticing all the voices there again.

"Marie! Listen to my voice, don't let them overcome your voice, your thoughts!!"

Marie is back there on the garden, looking in empty eyes ,_ …"Not empty ,never see so much desperation…"_

…"_What the fuck! It is me! How,w…wait a minute, it's Ororo, I'm seen through Ororo eyes! My God , look at me, I'm insane, I still can't believe…but you did/you should leave/you are dangerous/Kid, you need help! There is no one better than Chuck/ Hump, Charles KNOWS NOTHING/You just need mommy/Honey, listen him" _"Marie! Listen to my voice, don't let them overcome your voice, your thoughts!!"

Ororo's friends ,her family ,her laughs and her cries , all her victories and defeats, not just remembered but also felt ,and she can't breathe,

Marie started to have difficult to breath, but manage to focus on Charles " It's Ororo, I'm seen it all over again!"

, and …_"Can't close my eyes, but how I wanted…can't close…"_And then Ororo remembers being calm ,_"that it's I'm going to die …"_ Resignation? It was more familiar, secure, she felt Charles in her mind ,he was manipulating her memories, and then she saw Jean ,when they meet ,what they talk ,what they lived together. And she felt Rogue cry, her shame and regret, and she didn't remember anything more.

The same way that came, went away. She open her eyes and see Xavier with his close , she wait whatever he is doing.

"_How am I going to face Ororo?! God!! I really didn't want to hurt her, I just wanted everything stop, still want … What am I going to do?...what I do without you, Jean?"_

"…and she is fine" "I'm sor (clearing her throat ) sorry, what you were saying?"

"It's all right, dear! I just said that Ororo is already awake, and she is feeling fine; give the circumstances of course." " I guess I should…she will want me out of here, right?"

"Of course not, in fact she is concern about you…(seeing her doubtful look) Look, Ma.. Rogue yes, you attach her , but you were feeling corner, you are in pain and a great deal of grieve . (He sighs) I'm really sorry, should have seen it before"

"Professor don't, please! First that doesn't excuse my behavior , second I didn't want you to see, or anybody…I still don't( she whisper) I didn't tell not just because it could be consider unethical or immoral , but mostly because it's our, Jean's and mine's…I don't want anybody knowing, now is something that only belong to me, and if to have this true and great love to myself I also have to care this deep and tiresome pain and grieve alone, so be it. I love Jean Grey, and there isn't among of time, or help that could make me heal complete; because without her I'm hollow"

Alaki Lake

"AHHH!!What…Joooohhhnnnn!!"

"Ow, sweet pie, come inside come sleep" "JOHN!!"

Sighing John gets out of his sleeping bag, opens his camping tent. "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN,SINCE WE ARRIVE ALL YOU DID…(stops and looks around)…was complain…"

"Can we go to a cabin now?" The woman asks very low, the boyfriend in the same tone answers "Yes, sweet. Actually let's go to a hotel, in the city ( starts to collect their stuff, but still looking around them)"

"That's great teddy bear!...babyyyy, what about the thermos?" the look at the mentioned object " Lea hmpf… leave the thermos, hon. I buy a new one , OK?" "OK, Johnny bear"

In less than 20 minutes the couple seeking adventure and nature leaves the place, leaving behind a thermos, two cups , a tooth brush, and some others small objects that joined with the smaller rocks of the bay are floating in the air.

If someone fly above the lake surface, they would see a shadow of bird like figure , with their wings around itself, as if a cocoon waiting the right moment to wake up.

Far from here a girl's sleep is full of cries, pains, and longing…

"_Jean…"_

Only here her cries are heard

"_Marie…__**Marie…**__"_

_TBC_

_Please Review!_


	7. Chapter 7

The administrators of are as of June 4th going to be taking down Fics that have lemons or have extreme violence. Now I don't know about you but I think thats stupid. There are many wonderful fics that only have one or two lemons in them yet the plot itself is awesome! You can't just take down a 100,000+ word fic just because it has a lemon in a chapter that is only 1000 words long. Now I urge you all to read the petition below, sign it, and repost this to your own fics. Hopefully if we make enough noise everything will return to normal. Thank you.

Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.

Myself, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that I believe violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in its original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be looseing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

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